


Boxed Lunch

by kakashispornstash



Series: Horny Sad Teenagers That Fight Titans [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon - Manga, Caught in the Act, Crack, Embarrassment, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Horny Teenagers, Humor, One Shot, Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, Sneaking Around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 12:16:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1818136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakashispornstash/pseuds/kakashispornstash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After skipping out on lunch in the mess hall, Jean and Mikasa experiment between the sheets - until an untimely interruption from the feared, brutal instructor that is Keith Shadis brings their fun to screeching halt. </p><p>(Crack humor abound. Sequel to "The Birds and the Bees" from the AoT Kink Meme.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boxed Lunch

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I'm garbage. Secondly, they're both 15 years old and almost finished training, since I couldn't let two 12 year olds fool around. Period. ( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡
> 
> Finally, this...sort of became the sequel to "The Birds and the Bees" (another stunning, heart wrenching fic of great depth on my Ao3 page that was absurdly well received). If my readers couldn't already tell, both "TBATB" along with this fic are subtle critiques on typical Western sex education (thanks, conservatives in Congress!). Enjoy.

It was a typical afternoon for the 104th training corps. The sun was shining (and giving most cadets an unbearable sunburn), the birds were singing (before flocking off from Keith's shouting), and everyone in the mess hall was trying to stomach the kitchen's special of the day: shitty beef stew.

Mikasa, however, had other things in mind that she would rather do this afternoon than try to pick at her plate.

"Jean," Mikasa said, "I'm not particularly hungry. Let's go back." To get the point across, she squeezed his crotch underneath the table for good measure. Last time she'd suggested skipping out on lunch without being as direct about things, he had complained about wanting to stay and play crazy 8's with the guys at his table and made her feel like a fool. (It was no wonder she'd given him the cold shoulder for three days until he'd figured it out.)

Jean couldn't help but jump a little at that. "Ohgodholycrap - um. Yeah. Let's go. We're going." Leave it to Mikasa to be as blunt as possible...

However, Jean wasn't complaining in the least - they hadn't messed around in over a week. (Period stuff, you know - he tried not to think about it.) Luckily, Shadis was nowhere in sight, and neither was Jaeger - he was probably still out training. If he'd caught sight of them going anywhere together, it probably wouldn't have ended too well.

For the past two months, they'd been involved in a friends with benefits arrangement, and it hadn't been easy. With Jaeger a constant concern, training overloading their schedules as they approached graduation, and limited time alone in between, Jean was pleasantly surprised and eager to sneak off and have some fun.

When they got back to women's barracks, Jean looked through the window and checked to make sure everyone was gone for the hour. Luckily, it seemed quiet and entirely deserted.

Mikasa tugged impatiently on his shirtsleeve. "Hurry up. We don't have time to waste." Jean would be lying if he said that Jean Jr. wasn't already half-hard at the very implication of what they were going to do. After all, this was the same girl that got Jean to cream himself one night during a masturbatory fantasy before he ever even had the chance to jerk it. Even her voice could get him pumped up and ready to go.

They quickly headed back to Mikasa's bunk, where Mikasa started stripping immediately. Jean rubbed his hands together, fighting off an excited smile. He wanted to seem like a mature, sophisticated guy, not some overeager, horny kid. He really did like Mikasa, and he didn't want to ever leave a bad impression.

Even so, what happened next was a little difficult for him to swallow.

As Jean went about unbuttoning his shirt as quickly as possible, he failed to notice how Mikasa wasn't fully taking off her clothes - just her skirt and woolen tights. She neatly put her clothing next to her bed beside her shoes, sat down, folded her hands patiently and waited, looking at Jean expectantly. Jean was on his last button when he looked over and was disappointed not to see the sight of her perfect tits.

"Oh - you left your shirt on," Jean started, but stopped mid-sentence as he felt a flush creep up the back of his neck. He didn't really have the entitlement to just see her tits whenever he wanted - they _were_ about to fool around and all, but still. Last thing he wanted was to seem like a perverted prick.

Mikasa merely gave him a curious look. "What's taking so long?" She asked, gesturing to his pants. Jean nodded, biting his lower lip as he fumbled with unzipping his pants a little before shimmying out of them as quickly as he could. He practically leapt onto the bed, the springs creaking under the impact. At this point, he was getting too horny to care about playing Mr. Cool.

Jean immediately began to trail kisses along the length of her neck, tracing a hand up the side of her body, reveling in the sensation of her smooth skin. _Man, I missed this,_ Jean thought, nibbling lightly at her skin. Mikasa really was beautiful.

Naturally, Jean was thoroughly disappointed when Mikasa pushed him off of her. He balked a little. "W-what was that for, exactly?" Jean rubbed the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed.

Mikasa leaned back onto her pillow, tucking one hand beneath her head casually. "Eat me out," she said, quite simply and in a manner that left no room for negotiation or discussion, unless he wanted to be kicked out of her bed. Jean had just never really expected her to ask. Where the hell had that come from? A part of Jean wanted to say something and find out, but the other part of him told him to shut up so he didn't screw himself over.

"Uh. Sure," Jean replied, not exactly knowing where his words were coming from; evidently, his brain had switched onto autopilot.

 _The girls probably told her about it,_ Jean thought, sweating a little. _Which means I'm probably one of the last guys I know to be doing this. Great...way to look like a loser, Kirchstein._

Honestly, Jean felt a little unsure about eating a girl out - not that he'd ever had a bad experience or anything, but the fact remained that he was caught off guard. Despite having to sit through that shitty sex ed class a while back, Jean didn't know what made a girl tick (which wasn't entirely his fault, really, seeing as Shadis had made it a point then to ignore the joys of sexual pleasure and cut straight to the possibilities of unplanned pregnancy and crippling, genital-blasting venereal disease.) What if he ended up fucking up and making everything completely awkward between them?

 _Cut the sissy shit! Just don't screw this up,_ Jean thought, swallowing his nerves and talking himself up to prepare himself for what he was about to do - or more realistically, attempt to do, since he hadn't the slightest idea of where to start.

But seriously, it couldn't be that big of a deal. They'd just used the showers this morning, and this was Mikasa - if Jean was being entirely honest with himself, all anxieties aside, he probably wouldn't have been hesitant even if she'd asked him to do it just after training. Plus, how hard could this actually be?

So, like he typically did with all things in life, Jean cut to the chase and dove in head-first.

It seemed natural to follow his instincts, so he started out with the usual. Fingering was his forte, and he always seemed to know how to get Mikasa to writhe with a few smooth motions of his hand. Jean pressed his lips to her stomach, dipping his tongue into her navel before laying a kiss on the muscular curve of her hip bone. To Jean, Mikasa's strong physique had always been a real turn-on. He swallowed hard, trying to keep his own arousal from becoming distracting.

Mikasa arched her back a little, made an impatient noise in the back of her throat. She obviously really, really wanted this. Actually, that in and of itself was kind of a turn-on. Jean almost wished he could jerk himself the same time he was doing this, but it would probably mess everything up and make him look like a fool. He resisted temptation and continued his trek down below.

For all the times he'd seen a girl's parts close-up in Reiner's dirty magazines, it wasn't exactly the same as being face to face with the actual thing. Jean froze up a little, one finger still inside, pumping weakly. He was losing his nerve. Not good. Asking for direction was too much for his ego. It only made sense to try to take a shot in the dark and see if he could figure it out on his own, hopefully with the help of a little luck.

Jean honestly had no idea how sensitive having a guy's mouth 'down there' would feel for a girl, so he started off easy, tracing his tongue over her folds, starting from bottom to top. With all the shit he'd heard from Reiner about girls tasting like undercooked herring, he'd really been expecting worse. But this - he could get used to this.

There was something almost…sexy about the way Mikasa trusted him to perform such an intimate act on her. It was doing wonders for his pride, at least, and that alone really let Jean get into the spirit of the moment (since, after all, oral sex does require a certain kind of enthusiasm and energy for success).

When he pressed his tongue near the apex of her folds, he heard a small, keening whine slip out from the back of her throat. Jean lifted his head, fighting off his flush just in case she could see. "That feel good?" he managed, hoping to God his voice didn't crack.

Mikasa closed her eyes, nodded in response. "Yeah. Just keep doing that." Worked well enough for him. He felt kind of stupid for not noticing this earlier, actually - the tiny, raised area Mikasa wanted him to focus on stood out pretty obviously from the rest despite its size, now that he really had a good look at everything.

 _Easy enough_ , Jean thought, feeling a little triumphant. He settled himself between her legs again and, gently pushing her apart, started massaging the small, raised area with his tongue. It only took about two minutes for Mikasa to start making small, insistent moans, and his cock was straining like hell against his underwear.

But Jean didn't stop - he really wanted her to get off on this, because his gut feeling before had been right: this was fucking hot. In retrospect, Jean was really glad that, for once, he hadn't opened his stupid mouth and questioned her when she'd asked him to do it.

With his free hand, Jean did his best to curl two fingers inside of her, pumping as steadily and consistently as possible while continuing to use his tongue. He pressed his other free hand down on her hips, keeping Mikasa from bucking off of the matrress as she began to respond more intensely to the stimulation he was providing.

Jean felt her thread her fingers through his hair, and it only served to make him even hornier than he had been a few minutes ago. _God, Mikasa_ , Jean thought, stifling a groan. I hope you come soon, because I really can't…

Suddenly, the door to the barracks burst open. Jean froze; so did Mikasa. Whoever was coming in wasn't wasting any time, either - he or she was heading straight for the back of the barracks, right to Mikasa's bunk.

Thinkingly quickly, Mikasa threw both blankets over Jean. "Duck down and hide," she whispered breathlessly, eyes tense. Jean gave a quick nod, fear prevalent in his eyes. It was only then that he realized their clothing was still near headboard.

"Clothes," Jean muttered through his teeth, hoping she got the hint. Thankfully, Mikasa quickly reached down to shove their things beneath the bed and out of sight. That would have been pretty hard to explain.

A tense moment went by as the figure approached her bed, and Jean did his best to flatten out and assume the position to blend in with Mikasa's lower body. (And, yeah, if you're wondering, it was just as awkward as it sounds.)

"Hello, sir," Mikasa said, her voice as cool as ever. Jean almost died. It was one of their superior officers. Mikasa had the blankets pulled over Jean loosely enough so that it wasn't glaringly obvious someone was underneath them (and, worser still, had just been getting cozy between her legs 30 seconds ago). Still, that didn't put them out of the woods yet.

"Ackerman," a gravely, no-nonsense voice resonated through the blankets. _Oh, shit. It's Keith,_ Jean thought, absolutely horrified. He could recognize that voice from anywhere - it had haunted him in his nightmares for weeks as a new trainee way back. Jean had the feeling that if this guy found out what was going on here, they might be kicked out of the whole damn army altogether. If there was one thing Jean had learned, it was that Keith hated sex - probably because he wasn't getting any and wouldn't be any time soon.

Since day one, Keith had been notorious for hating and harassing young couples whenever he saw them getting cutesy on the training grounds or elsewhere. He never hesitated to humiliate anyone about being in a supposed relationship - and forget about being caught with any pornos in the barracks. Connie had once, and Keith had grabbed him by his head again and nearly smashed it in like a watermelon.

Well, all that was really left now for Jean to do was pray - and hope that Mikasa could provide both of them a good story to cover both of their asses. Jean shuddered as he imagined Keith stringing him up by his balls with the straps of his 3DMG, along with a myriad of other torturous, sadistic scenarios that his instructor could probably come up with to punish them

"Good afternoon, sir," Mikasa said. Jean tried his best not to breathe and not to suffocate at the same time. The winter blankets in the barracks were fucking heavy as hell. His head felt like it was boiling as he laid it against Mikasa's abdomen; by the good graces of God, he wasn't so tall that he feet were hanging over the edge of the bed, but it was still pretty damn cramped and uncomfortable.

"I was coming in to perform an inspection, since all cadets are supposed to be out of the barracks," Keith stressed, his voice low and ominous. "However, it seems you've made yourself quite at home here. Would you care to explain, Ackerman?"

"Well, sir..." Mikasa started, trailing off. _Well, we're screwed,_ Jean sighed inwardly, accepting the inevitable. Any minute now, Keith would be screaming and ripping off the blankets, and then…

"You see, sir, I have my period," Mikasa said, and Jean just about died from relief intermingled with humiliation.

"Your…period." Shadis sounded absolutely caught off his guard. Jean held his breath and waited, hoping he would turn on his heel in disgust and just get the hell out of there. But no suck luck. Shadis always had been one tough son of a bitch.

"It's called a period, sir," Mikasa continued. "It gives me horrific cramping in my abdomen, terrible headaches, and an upset stomach. I vomited on Sasha in the dining hall and decided to lay down here since the infirmary was overwhelmed with incoming trainees."

"Ah. I see…" Jean never heard Shadis sound so uncomfortable. Serves that asshole right, Jean thought.

"I suppose you don't need for me to explain what a period is, exactly? If you'd like, I can-"

"No, Ackerman," Shadis interjected, sounding utterly pained. "I would prefer you didn't. But don't think you can expect to use this an excuse to get out of your afternoon training. I expect to see your ass outside, 2 PM sharp." With that, Keith walked out of the barracks, giving the door an extra-hard slam on his exit out. After a moment of silence, Mikasa slowly unveiled a very hot and sweaty Jean from underneath the quilts, still in her lap.

"H-holy shit," Jean managed, gasping for air. "That was way too close for fucking comfort…I have to give you credit, Mikasa. You really saved our asses."

Mikasa shrugged. "Oldest excuse in the book. It always scares a man off." She gave him a shove with her foot, giving him the hint to get off of her. "I should know - you did the same thing with me."

"Ha-ha," Jean remarked, not entirely amused. "It's not as simple when you're on the other end, let me tell you."

Mikasa's face darkened. "Oh? So you think it's simple for me to have excruciating pain in my abdominal muscles that keeps me from training properly with the rest of you? I never realized you were that stupid, Jean."

Jean groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. By this point he knew for sure that he absolutely wasn't going to be getting any this fine afternoon. Nice one! Out of the frying pan and straight into the fire, Jean thought miserably. 'Foot in mouth' syndrome was never quite strong enough to describe this kid.

"Sorry, sorry," Jean sighed. "I was kind of an asshole for saying that, I know. I don't doubt your 'abdominal cramping' or whatever." He laid down next to her on the side of the bed and smirked. "How about we kiss and make up?" Mikasa merely rolled her eyes.

"Actually, I think you were in the middle of something before we were interrupted, Jean," Mikasa reminded him. Although Jean tried not to appear irked, it was pretty obvious. To Mikasa, it was just amusing how he couldn't tell she was kidding. Obviously, the mood had been shot and killed three times over with Keith's little visit.

"Oh, man - no way," Jean shook his adamantly, giving a stressed half-laugh. "We cannot do that again. I mean - not today," he backpedaled quickly, not wanting to seem like he wouldn't be up for this again, because he totally was.

"I just don't think my nerves can handle anything else right now," Jean managed, sounding a little exhausted as he pressed his face into the pillow. He was still partially recovering from the whole thing with Keith almost seeing him eat out a girl. That hadn't worked wonders for his libido.

"OK," Mikasa said, pushing at him to get up. "But you'd better hurry back to the mess hall in case Shadis sees you're not there. You'll have a lot of explaining to do."

(And after that? Well, let's just say Jean had never gotten his clothes back on faster.)

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for the title from [gurl.com](http://www.gurl.com/2013/06/10/cunnilingus-oral-sex-slang-words/#15) because I'm a freak and because I can't think of titles. If you click on the link, enjoy a bunch of ridiculous slang terms for cunnilingus. Happy reading!


End file.
